


Oklahoma State of Mind

by Whreflections



Series: Oklahoma verse [3]
Category: Kane (Band)
Genre: M/M, Meet the Family, Thanksgiving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-24
Updated: 2012-09-24
Packaged: 2017-11-14 23:51:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/520810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whreflections/pseuds/Whreflections
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris decides it's time Steve came to Oklahoma with him to meet his family. Steve knows Chris well enough by now to understand just how much the gesture means, and he starts to realize that maybe this thing they've got between them is gonna be every bit as important as it feels like to him it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oklahoma State of Mind

**Author's Note:**

> 93\. Thanksgiving

Steve’s phone rang for the third time that night and he sighed, rolling over in bed to pick it up.   
  
“Hello?”   
  
“Steve, hey.” Of course it was Christian. Again. Steve rubbed at his eyes, waiting. “Hey, I didn’t wake you up, did I?”   
  
“No, it’s ok.” He’d just turned out his light, actually. Honestly, he’d been half expecting Chris to call back anyway.   
  
“Great. I was just…”   
  
The last couple conversations had gone something like this too. “Christian?”   
  
“Yeah?”   
  
“Seriously, what’s wrong?” Whatever it was, he’d been trying to tell Steve since about 3 that afternoon, but every time he just couldn’t quite manage it.   
  
“Oh, nothing, nothing’s  _wrong_ , I was just… _shit_.” Chris laughed, nervous, and Steve wished he had him here in front of him so he could touch him. He’d figured out awhile back that was usally the best way to calm Christian down.   
  
“What is it, Chris? You can tell me.”   
  
“It’s nothin’ like that, really, it’s just…oh goddammit, will you come to Oklahoma with me?” He said it so fast it was almost one word, but Steve still caught it, and he grinned, holding the phone close as he rolled on to his side.   
  
“Absolutely.”   
  
“For Thanksgiving, you know, to meet my momma and daddy and…well, it’s kind of a big deal at home and there’ll be a ton of other people there too, really, but I was thinkin’ it’d be a good time to introduce you if you want and-“  
  
“Christian, I’d love to. Seriously.” Very,  _very_  seriously, because this was  _huge_. It had taken him all of two weeks after meeting him to figure out just how important Chris’ family was to him, and that was something he’d had at the back of his mind ever since they’d actually gotten together. Chris wanting to introduce him could only mean he was really taking this seriously now, and that made Steve feel pretty fucking high.   
  
“Yeah?” Jesus, Chris honestly sounded surprised. As if he could’ve ever said ‘no’.   
  
“Yeah! Of course!”   
  
“I uh…I told ‘em I might be bringing you for them to meet. Momma’s kind of excited; I hadn’t ever really…well anyway, she’ll be happy to meet you.”   
  
He tried not to let his mind get too excited over the part of that that Chris had cut short, instead focused on the one thing that  _could_  be a problem. “Does she…do they know that-“  
  
“Yeah, yeah they know all about you. I told ‘em last time I went home.” Considering Chris had already told him awhile back he’d never come out as bi to anyone but his momma,  _that_  had to have been an interesting conversation.   
  
“Oh, great. So uh, when are we leavin’?” Considering Thanksgiving was about a week away, he wondered how long Christian had actually been trying to psych himself up to ask.   
  
“Um…I was thinkin’ we’d fly in on Wednesday and stay till Sunday? Jenny said she’d pick us up.”   
  
“Alright, that’s fine. I’ll just have to talk to mom and dad.” Which,  _his_  mom probably wasn’t gonna be too happy. She’d give him sad eyes and talk about how lonely it was when your only child hardly ever came home and how much she looked forward to seeing him, but he knew she’d understand. They’d already met Christian, and he talked to both her and his dad plenty. They knew how important this relationship was to him, how important  _Christian_  was. They’d definitely understand.   
  
“Yeah, sorry about that…I was plannin’ to tell you in advance, but…” But clearly, that had been too terrifying to manage.   
  
“It’s alright.”   
  
They slipped in to comfortable silence, and Steve closed his eyes and listened to the sound of Christian’s breath against the phone. God, he was so crazy in love with this man.   
  
“Well, I guess I’ll let you get some sleep.”   
  
“I’m glad you called.”   
  
“Yeah. Yeah, me too.” Chris cleared his throat, and Steve tightened his grip on the phone. “G’night darlin’.”   
  
If Chris ever understood just what that did to him, he’d probably say it more often. “Goodnight.”   
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’   
  
“Look, mom, I’m really sorry, I am, but this is really important. I need to go with him.”   
  
His mom sighed, and she sounded so wounded he really felt guilty. “It’s not that I don’t understand that, Steve, I just hate you missing Thanksgiving at home. Your Aunt Dawn and your cousins are coming in from New York; you’re so busy they hardly ever get to see you anymore!”   
  
“I know, and I’m  _sorry_ , and I’ll see them at Christmas, but I can’t…I can’t miss this, mom. His family’s really important to him and I’m not-“ He heard her start to cut him off and his voice rose, stopping her, “-I’m  _not_  saying you’re not important to me, just that this is really huge for him, and I need to go and show him I understand what he’s offering, and that I’m serious. And I am, I’m serious about this. OK? Please understand.”   
  
She sighed again, and he bit his lip. No matter how old he got, he was always going to hate disappointing her. “Alright, sweetheart. Just…come see us sometime, ok? I feel like you’re working or travelling all the time lately.”   
  
No one could make you feel like a horrible person quite like your mother. “I’ll come over after we get home, I promise. I love you.”   
  
“We love you, too.”   
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’   
  
He’d told himself he was gonna try not to be nervous, but that resolve had died a long while back. Meeting Jenny first had taken a little bit of the edge off, but only a little bit. A very, very tiny bit. She’d been great though, really. She’d been there to meet them after they grabbed their luggage, and Chris had wrapped her in a bear hug and picked her up off the ground, kissing the top of her head before he sat her back down. He’d immediately stepped back and smiled back at Steve, and the way he’d said “Jenny, this is Steve.” made it sound like he’d talked about him to her all the time.   
  
She’d stepped right up and hugged him, told him she was amazed someone was finally able to put up with her brother long enough for him to bring them home. Chris had looked like he wanted to strangle her for that. She drove a truck a lot like Christian’s, and Chris had pushed their bags into the back and sat down in the middle, talking easily to his sister with one arm thrown over the back of the seat and around Steve’s shoulders. He’d been listening and trying to add in what he could, but now they were pulling up in the driveway, and…yeah.  _Fuck_  he was nervous.   
  
As soon as the truck stopped Chris was out the door after Jenny, going up to the woman who’d apparently been waiting for them just inside the screen door. Jenny hugged her around the neck quick before heading on in, and giving Chris a chance to say hello. Their momma was about a head shorter than Christian, and he pulled her into a tight hug, leaning down to kiss her cheek. By the time Steve got over there she had Chris’ face in her hands, talking to him, and Chris looked like such a little boy just then Steve couldn’t help but smile.   
  
“Lord, child, you always look so tired when you come home. Just once I’d like to see that you’ve been takin’ care of yourself.”   
  
“ ‘m alright, momma.” His voice was just a little softer, his accent just a little thicker, and if he could’ve Steve would’ve kissed him right then. Forget tired, he looked perfect. Chris squeezed her close, kept one arm around her shoulders as he pulled her toward Steve. “Steve, this is my momma.”   
  
“Nice to meet you, ma’m.” Even being from California, he could have good semi-southern manners when he needed to. He held out his hand, and she smiled when she took it.   
  
“Well, aren’t you a gentleman? It’s wonderful to finally meet you, Steve. I don’t think Christian has stopped talkin’ about you since you two met last summer.” She hugged him then, and he was preoccupied with that enough that he almost missed the shy way Chris ducked his head, one hand rubbing absently at the back of his neck.   
  
“Well, I’m pretty sure I’ve done the same.” When he let go, he stepped a little closer to Christian, wishing he knew a little more about what was ok here. He itched to touch him, to reach out and pull him against his side or at least take his hand but he just didn’t know…  
  
“Come on in the house, you can sit your bags down in the hall and come have you a drink in the kitchen; I bet you’re thirsty.” Yeah, that’d be nice. And a shot of Jack would be alright, too. “Christian, why don’t you go get your daddy? Think he’s out around back workin’ on the truck; probably didn’t hear you all pull up.”   
  
For just a minute Chris hesitated, and from the sudden blankness that slammed down over the happiness that had been growing in his eyes Steve could see Chris was at the very least a little nervous about this. He licked his lips and took a deep breath, but he smiled when his momma turned around to look at him.   
  
“Course, momma. We’ll be right in.”   
  
Shit, Steve wanted to go with him, but at the same time…well, they probably needed at least a minute to themselves. He was so busy watching them go out the door he hardly noticed that Chris’ momma had come up beside him, but she drew his attention with a hand on his arm.   
  
“Here you go, honey. Something to warm you up; I know it’s gettin’ cold out there.”   
  
He peeled his eyes away from the door and wrapped his hands around the warm mug she held out to him. “Thanks, Mrs.-“  
  
“Diane.” She waved him off, smiling, and headed over to pour another cup.   
  
Steve took a sip of his and realized it was apple cider, spiced and hot and absolutely delicious. “This is fantastic!”   
  
She smiled a little wider, pouring two more cups. “The kids’ve always liked it.” She finished pouring and slid a rag over the counter, her back still to him. “Christian do alright on the flight? I swear that boy surprises me all the time; I’d have never believed he’d  _voluntarily_  take a plane out here when he didn’t have to.”   
  
Honestly, it was probably good she wasn’t facing him, cause he wouldn’t have been able to hide how that startled him right away. “Yeah, he was fine.” God, he hoped that hadn’t sounded quite as hurt as it had in his head. He couldn’t help it, really. If Christian had some problem with flying, why the hell hadn’t he  _told_  Steve that? He could’ve…well,  _something_. At the very least, wasn’t that something you told the person you were with?   
  
Then again, half the time Christian still made his head spin. There’d been kisses and a whole lot of nothing else but friendship and then there’d been getting drunk and getting off on Christian’s couch and then somehow it had morphed into this weird thing where they sort of dated without talking about it, except he’d kept wondering if he could  _really_  count it as dating when he couldn’t even touch Chris till they got back home. He’d thought, then, that he had Christian almost figured out, that this was just gonna be friends with benefits or something, and hell he was already pretty much in love even if he wouldn’t admit it but he could do what he had to do. But then Chris had introduced him to David and Jamie and he’d been as affectionate and easy with him in front of them as he was when they were alone and writing together, and Steve hadn’t known what the hell to think. There was lots more dating that wasn’t exactly dating after that, and some actual sex, and one day Chris had startled the hell out of him and actually managed to come out and say, “We should do this for real.”. It was a testament to how much he’d come to understand Chris’ convoluted logic that that had actually made sense without him elaborating on it even a word more.   
  
They’d both stopped picking up even the occasional girl(which really to be honest, they’d mostly already stopped that anyway)and gone into this kind of weird form of exclusivity that felt like it made sense sometimes and felt like it made none whatsoever at others.   
  
Kind of like the difference in “come meet my family” and the fact that Chris hadn’t even bothered to tell him he’d apparently rather drive across five or six states than get on a plane.   
  
The back door opened then and jerked him out of his thoughts, and he sat his cup down on the counter and prayed that he’d actually have something to say. Right now, he had a lot of nothing. When they came around the corner, the first thing he noticed was that Chris looked a lot more like his momma. There was something similar in the way they stood, sure, and a little in the build of their shoulders but past that, they were two totally different people. Well, other than the fact that everything from their clothes to their tanned skin practically screamed ‘southern’.   
  
He was wearing a baseball cap that he took off and tossed on the counter, and he smiled when he held his hand out. “Mike Kane.”   
  
“Steve Carlson.” He had a strong handshake, and there something hard about his eyes but he didn’t seem distant. It seemed more like a personality trait, something that was always there, and Steve remembered that Chris had said he loved his daddy, but he was a little too rowdy for his dad’s tastes and they didn’t always see eye to eye.   
  
“Good to meet you, son. Christian never really brings company for the holidays so it’s nice to see you two here.” It was maybe a little strained, and he cut his eyes at Christian near the end of it, but largely, it was just friendly. Coming from such a southern background Steve hadn’t been all the way sure what to expect, but considering how everything Christian had ever said had made it clear he came from a loving home, maybe Steve should’ve expected something like this all along. Chris looked a little nervous, sure, but it didn’t’ seem to have so much to do with the fact that he was a man so much as something else between them, and could’ve probably died a little from relief just then. Or he could’ve used a cigarette, either one, but they’d just gotten in and he didn’t feel right sneaking off to smoke just yet.   
  
Mike stepped up to the counter beside Christian’s momma, and he leaned in to give her a kiss before he took his cup. He took a drink before he leaned back against the counter, cowboy boots kicked out on the linoleum. “Christian tells me you play some steel guitar I need to hear.”   
  
“I’d be happy to play around on it for you, but I didn’t bring mine with me. Course, I’m sure Chris exaggerated anyway, but-”   
  
“The hell I did.” Christian sidled up next to him, bumping him with his shoulder, and Steve elbowed him, glad to have him close again.   
  
“Well, my daddy played. I’ve got one around the house, it probably needs some strings, but-“  
  
“Yeah, yeah, I can definitely do that.” He looked over at Christian, wondered how much he’d told them about exactly what they were workin’ on lately. “We’ve got some stuff we’ll have to play for you too. We’ve been writin’ so many good songs over this past year or so, and we’ve got well over an album’s worth of material now.”   
  
“That’s what Chris was tellin’ me just the other day, weren’t you? He said you were gonna be havin’ an album ready to put together and-“  
  
“No, momma, I said we’re  _tryin’_. See, the thing is-“  
  
Chris was in his element now, because this project had been his baby to begin with. Steve took his cup in one hand, leaned back against the counter with his left arm pressed warm against Christian’s right and listened to him talk, picking up every couple minutes where Chris left off or to answer a question. It was comfortable and easy and when Jenny came back downstairs and joined in she steered the conversation off music and onto life in L.A., and that wasn’t hard either.   
  
When Diane started shooing them out of the kitchen to go get changed so they could go out for dinner, Chris’ hand on his waist stopped him before he could turn away and follow Jenny out the door. When Chris leaned in for a quick kiss, Steve was pretty sure this was all going just as good as he’d hoped.   
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’   
  
He’d never really imagined Chris’ room, but it looked just right. There were football schedules and baseball posters and even Chris’ own high school football jersey tacked up against one wall. There were others things too, like a guitar stand in the corner and a dog bed between Chris’ dresser and the closet.   
  
Steve had met Remy before they’d left for dinner, an old bloodhound that had gone deaf and partially blind and who obviously used to be the love of Chris’ life. He’d wanted to take him when he came to L.A. but he’d known it wouldn’t be the best place for an aging dog used to having the run of 6 acres, not to mention the fact that he’d been poor enough just taking care of himself without adding another mouth to house and feed.   
  
Chris had cuddled on him and rolled around on the floor with him when they’d gotten home, and though he’d tried to coax Steve into playing with them, Remy hadn’t really wanted to be part of it once Steve joined in. Clearly, he was Chris’ dog through and through. Which is probably why Chris took it as a personal affront that he’d taken to sleeping in his parents room since Chris had been gone, and he’d left the door cracked until he heard his parents shut theirs in the hopes that Remy’d change his mind.   
  
He sighed heavily when he got up to shut it, crawling back into bed without bothering to turn the lights back on. “He’s done that past four of five times I’ve been home. I keep hopin’ he’ll remember…”  
  
“Chris, I’m sure he remembers. Things are just different now. It’s what he’s used to.”   
  
“Yeah, I guess. I just miss him, you know? He was  _my_  dog.”   
  
Steve smiled, rolled over and draped an arm over Chris’ chest. “I can see that. He gives you that ‘you are God’ look. I think he thought I was ruining your moment.” Or that he’d been the reason his beloved master had vanished. Honestly, even being half blind the look he’d given Steve when Chris had leaned back against the sofa and tugged Steve back to rest between his legs had been nothing short of hateful.   
  
Chris laughed, low and quiet, and he wrapped one arm around Steve’s back, nuzzling into his hair. “You’ll grow on him. He’s a good boy.”   
  
“Mm. He might forgive me.” His eyes were adjusting to the dark by now, and he could just make everything out in the hazy light that came from the moon spilling around the shades. It had to be almost full. Chris slid a hand down his back, fingers playing over his spine.   
  
“ ‘m glad you’re here.”   
  
Yeah. He was too. “Chris?”   
  
“Yeah?”   
  
“Why didn’t you tell me you hate flying?” He felt Chris tense under him, and he kind of wished he hadn’t just come out with it like that. It had been hovering at the back of his mind though, and now that they were quiet and talking it had pretty much just slipped out.   
  
Chris’ hand had stilled on his back, his breath a little more shallow and less natural. “I was fine.”   
  
 _Not the answer I was wanting, Christian._ Steve shifted, raised himself up on one arm to look down at Chris, at what he could see of his eyes in the dark. It wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing. “Really? Cause your momma-“  
  
“I mean, I kinda hate it, but…” He shrugged, eyes downcast. “It’s not a big deal; I was just thinkin’ it’s quicker. I didn’t want to make you come on the drive all the way out here, it’s like a 20 hour drive, and-“  
  
“ _Chris_.” He shut up, but probably only because Steve followed his name up with a kiss. “You can tell me anything. Seriously, I wish you would, cause I kind of hated hearing that from your mother, with her acting like it was something I should’ve known.” Because then it looked like he didn’t care, and that sure as hell wasn’t the case.   
  
“She likes you, you know.” Even if he hadn’t been able to see Chris smiling, he could’ve heard it on his voice then. “I knew she would. I mean, she’s half just happy that I brought someone home at all but she really likes you, too. I’ve kinda driven her crazy a little I think cause Jenny’s had about a dozen guys by the house but I just kept thinkin’, no sense in her meeting some girl I can’t see still being around next year, you know?”   
  
His voice sounded vulnerable and a little hesitant when he said it, but Steve didn’t let him worry for long. That had been as good as outright saying that this was fucking serious and long term and Steve could hardly catch onto a thought other than  _God yes_  for more than half a second. From everything he’d learned so far, though, Chris had a pretty short time limit for any conversation he felt left him vulnerable, and he didn’t want to push it. Instead he kissed him, eager and hungry, his fingers kneading gently at the back of Chris’ neck.   
  
Chris pressed his palm against Steve’s back, keeping him close, and he swallowed the gasp that left Steve’s lips when he flipped them over, pinning Steve to the bed. One hand slid down to curl in a firm grip against Steve’s hip, and when his body automatically jerked into the touch Chris smirked against his skin. Chris’ lips trailed along his jaw and down his neck, stopping to lap at his pulse when Steve’s breath went just a little more ragged. He kept going lower, and Steve swallowed hard, his fingers tangling in Chris’ hair.   
  
“You sure this is a good idea?”   
  
“I think it’s a great idea.” Even whispering he sounded amused, but Steve was a little more distracted by the way his breath hit damp skin. His mouth stopped somewhere just below where the line of Steve’s collar would rest, and he sucked a mark onto his skin. Steve arched into it, his fingers tightening on Christian’s hair, breath coming hard and fast as he focused on not making a sound. Which was nearly impossible, because he seriously loved Christian’s mouth.   
  
He slid lower, lifting the band of his pajamas up and pushing them down, and Steve let go with one hand and grabbed for Christian’s wrist for a second, only to have his hand batted away. Chris’ hand tightened just a little more on his hip, giving him only a half second’s warning before he wrapped his lips around the head, sucking lightly.   
  
“ _Jesus_ , Christian!” He hissed the words out between his teeth, his neck arching back against the pillow, and Chris had enough mercy to stop, chuckling softly as he nuzzled against his hip.   
  
“Ah, just Christian works.”   
  
Bastard. “You’re a cocky son of a bitch sometimes, you know that?”   
  
Chris sucked at his hip bone, reaching over to stroke him when Steve’s hips tried to rock up at the sensation. “You love it.”  
  
Yeah, out of everything he loved about Christian, that’d make it on the list somewhere. It’d also make it onto the list of things that drove him crazy, but that was perfectly alright. “C’mere.” He pulled Chris back up to lay against his chest, holding on tight as he kissed him. He could taste himself on Chris’ tongue, and he couldn’t help moaning softly into his mouth, his body shuddering when Chris pressed closer at the sound. Every time they kissed he felt like he’d never be able to get enough, and they made out until they were hot and sweaty and he had no idea how long it had been, but somewhere in there they’d both managed to lose their pants all the way.   
  
He shifted, slipped his thigh fully between Christian’s and rubbed up just a little harder against him, with more intent. Chris gripped his arm hard and bit down on Steve’s lip, but when he pulled back for breath he pulled all the way away from him, rolling onto his back and yanking open the drawer next to the bed. He pressed the bottle into Steve’s hand, and though he didn’t say a word Steve could read everything in the way his fingers closed around Steve’s wrist to pull him close again, the way his legs were already spread in invitation and the look he could see in his eyes in the moonlight.   
  
It went beyond want, beyond anything Steve had ever seen in him before, and when he rolled over to cover Chris’ body with his Chris made a soft noise low in his throat that just about broke him. Steve coated his fingers quickly, slid the first in and kissed Chris to hide the sounds they both made. There was plenty of back and forth in this and he could never really decide which he preferred, but there was something about fingering Chris open for him that was always so unspeakably hot. He’d been Christian’s first for this, the only one to ever have the privilege of being inside him and maybe that was part of it.   
  
As open as he seemed to everyone that met him, Chris kept everything close to the chest that really mattered, and it was a hard wall to break through with only a handful of people on the inside. The fact that Chris had been willing to let him in enough to give him  _this_ …yeah, that meant a hell of a lot.   
  
“ _Steve_.” He said it low and rough, and Steve stilled with two fingers inside him, felt how hot and tight Chris felt around him and the way Christian’s hands clutched at his arms to draw him closer. “Now, I-“  
  
“Almost.” His own voice sounded just as strung out, and he dipped his head to rest his forehead against Christian’s. “Almost.” They had rough every now and then, sure, but this…this was something else, something different and better and he wasn’t rushing it. Not even if he felt like he was gonna go crazy if he wasn’t inside Chris in about 30 seconds, and he sort of did. He pushed Chris’ thighs a little farther apart and higher up against his chest, added another finger and leaned down to kiss him again, tasting blood where Christian had bit his lip too hard and soothing the mark with his tongue.   
  
Chris loosened the death grip he’d had on Steve’s bicep and stroked against his cheek, his touch soft, and somehow that was all Steve knew he was gonna be able to take. He pulled his hand out and wiped it on the sheets, pushed in slow as he whispered Christian’s name in hitched breath against his lips. Chris’ legs wrapped around behind his back and his arms slid up under Chris’ shoulders and they moved together, a slow drag that made Steve feel both like he could do this forever and like he wouldn’t last 2 minutes.   
  
When Chris came against his chest before he could even get a hand between them to wrap around him, Steve was right behind him.   
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’   
  
It was still only barely past dawn, but Steve just couldn’t sleep. He’d have probably been thinking overtime about all of this anyway, but then there had been last night and the way Christian had looked at him and the fact that all of  _this_  felt more serious than anything ever had in his life. That wasn’t bad but it was pretty damn huge, and he needed a cigarette. Maybe after that, he could go back to bed and get some more sleep.   
  
He rolled out of bed carefully, smiling when Chris snuggled closer to the still warm sheets he’d left behind without waking up. They’d both pulled pajama pants back on before they’d fallen asleep in case his mom decided to wake them up, and if it had been warmer that would’ve been enough. This was Oklahoma in the middle of November, though, and he stopped to grab a shirt. Christian’s was closer, and he shrugged it on and buttoned it up halfway before fishing around in his bag for his smokes and the lighter.   
  
He managed to be pretty quiet sneaking downstairs and he went out on the back porch instead of the front, leaning against the rail as he lit up and watched the orange seep over the horizon. He could smell the dew and smoke on the air and the scent of Chris on the collar of his shirt, and if he’d ever been this happy, he couldn’t remember it.   
  
“ ‘Morning, Steve.”   
  
He nearly jumped out of his skin, and it was only by some miracle he managed to keep from throwing the cigarette out into the grass. He choked, straightened up just a little bit. “Good morning, sir.” Yeah, this was  _exactly_  how he’d wanted to see Christian’s dad first thing in the morning…wearing Chris’ shirt that he hadn’t even bothered to button all the way. He self consciously tugged the left side a little farther over, hoping it covered the mark Christian had left just below his collar.   
  
Mike Kane stepped up to lean against the rail next to him, but he was smiling. “Just Mike. Can I have one of those? Diane thinks I’ve quit, but every now and then…”  
  
Steve laughed, tugging the packet out of his jeans and holding it out. “Yeah, I hear you. That’s how Christian is. I keep sayin’ I’m gonna cut back but..maybe one of these days.”   
  
“Way I see it, there’s plenty of other things that’ll kill me before this will.” He took the lighter, lit up and smiled a little wider after his first draw. “Thank you.”   
  
“Hey, anytime.” Steve brushed his hair back from his eyes, wishing he knew what the hell to say. “Beautiful land out here.” For now, that’d have to do.   
  
“Well, we’ve never really done much with it, but it has the potential. Christian liked it so much out here, I always thought maybe he’d take to farming but I think it was a little too sedentary for him.”   
  
He could see that, mostly. It was sort of a toss up though, because on the one hand Christian seemed to fit here, with wide open country and warm friendly people and an easier pace of life, but out the other hand there were the other things about Christian, like that fact that he could almost drink his weight in Jack and his voice and his acting and everything that had drawn him to California in the first place. He was a mess of contrasts, and Steve seemed to find that out just a little more every day.   
  
“He really loves it here, though. Every time he comes home, that’s all I hear about for days.” Not that he minded listening, not at all.   
  
“Well, that’s good to know. We hear a little about L.A. and a little about Angel lately, and a lot about Kane.”   
  
Steve smiled, took a deep pull off smoke and felt it burn in his chest. “We’re doin’ better than either of us thought, actually. It’s been great.” And it kept getting better all the time.   
  
“Seems you two are doin’ alright for yourselves.”   
  
Yeah, they definitely weren’t talking about the band anymore. And granted, he’d sounded something like pleasantly surprised when he’d said it, Steve still couldn’t resist trying to steer it back toward what felt like steadier ground. “Yeah. David told us setting out to play country in L.A. was kind of like going for rap in Nashville, but it seems like it’s gonna work.”   
  
Apparently, Mike wasn’t easily distracted. Their eyes met and Steve noticed that his were dark, so different from Christian’s mesmerizing blue. “We haven’t always gotten along, but I guess that’s cause I’ve wanted to see Christian take something seriously for a long time. I thought he was doing that when he went to school, and he changed his mind, and he told me acting was gonna be that one thing he went for. I’m not sure that’s gonna be the case, but I think maybe the band and the music and…” He couldn’t quite say it, but he gesture at the space between them made enough sense. “Maybe this is it. It’s good to see that. Anyway…” He stubbed his cigarette out on the edge of a cement flowerpot, dropping the end into the water around the edge. “Diane’s gonna be up and cooking soon. She always drafts Christian into helpin’ her out in the kitchen, but I bet with you bein’ here she’ll give you a couple more hours sleep, if you want.”   
  
He clapped Steve on the shoulder on his way past, and Steve was pretty sure he managed to say something that sounded like thanks. If he’d had a little longer to run all of that through his head, he might could’ve come up with something more worthwhile to say.   
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’   
  
Christian woke up when he got back in bed, but only enough to wrap around him and bury his face in his neck.   
  
“You’re cold.”   
  
“Yeah. Needed a smoke.” He pulled the blankets up around their shoulders, turned his head to breathe Chris in. “Talked to your daddy a little bit.”   
  
“Yeah?” That seemed to wake Chris up a little, but Steve ran his fingers through his hair, slow and calming.   
  
“Yeah. Said your momma wanted us to help her cook, but she’d let us sleep for a little while if you want.”   
  
“Then why are you still talking?” Chris was seriously never going to be a morning person. Ever.   
  
Steve laughed softly, shut his eyes and focused on the feel of Chris’ breath evening out against his neck. Chris was out like a light in about 5 minutes, and though it took him a little longer to clear everything out of his mind, he finally drifted off to the feel of Chris’ heartbeat against his, and the sound of the steady tick from the grandfather clock down the hall. 


End file.
